Nicholas Cage and Nicholas Hoult star in Renfield, a tongue-cheek-take on Dracula’s insect-eating henchman. Photo Universal Pictures
Renfield (April 14th, 2023)
Both Renfield (Nicholas Holt) and Dracula (Nicholas Cage) seems perfectly cast to play their respectively roles and we get two Nicholases in one movie. Cage’s Count Dracula is dead and loving it while Holt channels some serious Hugh Grant stuttering charm in his role as an employee stuck with the most toxic boss since (insert Elon Musk joke here.) The hilarious Aquafina stars as Officer Rebecca Quincy, the woman who inspires Renfield to break free from Dracula’s hold. Watch for scene-stealer Brandon Scott Jones (Ghosts) in the official trailer as the group therapy leader. Renfield is directed by Chris McKay (The Tomorrow War, The LEGO Batman Movie) from a screenplay by Ryan Ridley (Ghosted series, Rick & Morty series), based on an original idea by The Walking Dead and Invincible creator Robert Kirkman.
Cocaine Bear (February 24th, 2023)
I’ll see your Snakes on a Plane and Sharknado 15 and raise you a Cocaine Bear. The best part about Cocaine Bear (yes, I’m going to write Cocaine Bear as much as humanly possible in this article) is that it’s based on a true story. The real life cocaine bear gained notoriety in 1985 after eating $15 million worth of coke from a duffle bag dropped from a drug smuggler’s airplane. The cocaine bear didn’t go on a murderous rampage. The real cocaine bear died alone in the woods next to the empty bag of cocaine, and one of the drug smugglers fell from the to his death because he didn’t open his chute in time. Let’s forget the details though, because otherwise the story of cocaine bear is comedy gold. Also does cocaine taste good enough to eat 70 pounds of it? Please don’t use your real name answering that question.
Beau is Afraid (April 2023)
Brace yourselves, writer/director/producer Ari Astor (Hereditary, Midsommar) has teams up with actor Joachim Phoenix (Joker, The Master), like nightmare fuel with a match. No one should go into an Ari Aster film knowing anything ahead of time. Don’t ruin all the bonkers, shocking stuff that happens in his films for yourself. If you see a trailer start up, run and don’t go looking for one either.
Cuckoo (September 29, 2023)
Teenager Gretchen (Hunter Schaffer) moves to a resort with her parents and the whole “things may not be what they seem” deal ensues. It would be super weird if things were, in fact, what they seem. Maybe the twist is that the resort isn’t actually all-inclusive or that the titular cuckoo is really a cocaine cuckoo.
The Deliverance (expected in 2023)
Lee Daniels directs this upcoming Netflix film. Andra Day (The United States vs. Billie Holiday), Mo’Nique (Precious, Domino), Omar Epps (House, Love and Basketball), Caleb McLaughlin (Stranger Things), and Glenn Close (Damages, Fatal Attraction) star. Based on a supposed real-life haunting, the film follows a midwestern mother whose children seem to become possessed (so…definitely based on real life then.) Also a Hell portal might be involved. Those things keeping popping up like a wack-a-mole.
Photograph © Universal.
Last Voyage of the Demeter (August 11, 2023)
Based on the seventh chapter of Bram Stoker’s Dracula the films tells the tale of the doomed ship that carried Dracula from to London and works well as a self-contained short horror story.
The film stars David Dastmalchian (The Dark Knight, Suicide Squad), Corey Hawkins (The Tragedy of Macbeth), Aisling Franciosi (The Nightingale, The Unforgivable), and Liam Cunningham (Game of Thrones, Hunger.)
Spanish actor Javier Botet (Mama, Rec) portrays Count Dracula. As the result of a rare genetic condition called Marfan Syndrome, Botet is 6’6″, weighs 120 pounds, and is double jointed. There’s a great article about the actor in Variety.
Which upcoming films are you all excited about? Let us know.
Cocaine Bear, Cocaine Bear, Cocaine Bear!
